Monday, March 21, 2011

Out with the old and in with the old

While out with a friend of ours discussing project Good Guy, she threw out the suggestion to check out Joey’s in Bentall One on Burrard. Not to be confused with Joey’s on Burrard.... Yes.
I had heard this place mentioned before for ladies who are going out trolling, as it had potential to be a mini metropolis of men seeing as there’s a clusterfuck of office towers around this particular area of Vancouver.

After assessing all the information we decided to venture out into the office tower jungle.
Upon entry and doing a quick survey of the room something seemed very suspicious. I had a sinking feeling that something was amiss...and then it hit me...OLD MEN!

Yes, there they were in all their glory, a literal bonanza of business suits and finger guns a blazin.

Question – if you are a young lady waitressing in a bar/pub/restaurant, is it awesome to have your dad and his friends undressing you with their eyes for your entire shift?
I know, I know, they tip enough to keep you clothed and fed for the next decade, but you must want to shower a multitude of times when you get home. Shame shower. We’ve all been there.

As the night wore on, we realized that the clientele wasn’t getting any younger and neither were we. This brings us to the hilarious cameo of a young gentlemen who I’m sure was some higher ups legal assistant but in his mind is “the guy behind the guy”, who had a walk that was half gangster rap, half 80’s wrestling intro. But wait there’s more. Not only did he have the walk, he had a dude tailing him who bore a striking resemble and possibly had the same job requirements as Turtle from Entourage. If I was able to ever stop laughing I would have felt a little bit sorry for him. Turtle that is.

After vowing to never again take suggestions on places to find men from our so called friend, we decided to quiz our waitress to find out the real scoop on this place.
Our waitress was a lovely young lady who had recently moved here from Calgary and through talking to her we discovered that she too had the same struggles of where to find men in Vancouver and this is where she dropped the bomb on us. And not the good R&B kind.
The bomb being that the influx of old men around us? Yah they were the regulars.
No younger men to be had here, at least not often enough to make anyone shout “come here this place is crawling with available youngish men!”

And that was that. We thanked the waitress for her honesty and she wished us well on our journey and advised us to come back if we ever find the holy grail of men.
High point of the night? On our way out we were pleased to see that Gangster Walk and Turtle were tucking into a bottle of white wine together.
It doesn’t get better than that.

The two important things I learned about Joey’s that night? – vodka Supernovas and sliders.

Your mouth doesn’t know what it’s missing.

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