So on Friday afternoon after a looooong day at work; where else does one go on one of the first sunny days than a patio? The correct answer is nowhere, and apparently the other answer is yoga – hey good for you people who were going to class, I truly admire the dedication. We had finally decided to give The Academic its long awaited try, but due to a silly doctor’s appointment time made by my sister, I was left to my own devices for the first hour and a half of my visit. Now I’m no baby, I can sit alone at a pub without supervision, all you need to do is put a beer in front of me and provide the people for me to watch and I will be happy.
And so that’s what I did. I took advantage of the patio that I didn’t realize Academic had and basked in the sun that was finally making its existence in Vancouver be known. Armed with the new Glamour and a $5 Peroni – gotta love those Donnelly drink specials – I was ready to take in the atmosphere and see what this venue would have to offer Mancouver. It was pretty quiet when I first arrived, but I did take into account not everyone has the luxury of leaving their workplace in the middle of what is most people’s halfway point in their shifts. There were a handful of people around and they were mostly girls, so I delved into my new magazine which featured ridiculous articles like why men go to strip clubs –WHY? Why not? Don’t even get me started on this topic, I’ll be here for days – why people stay in marriages that are just “okay” – another topic that will keep me here for days – and of course the annual we found the most amazing swimsuits for all body types! How many years do we need to go over this? There aren’t that many bathing suit styles to necessitate an entire magazine article year after year about this are there? Bikini or one piece. Buy whichever one will be more flattering to your body. Problem solved! Haha. I guess that’s why I’m not writing that article.
Eventually the after work crowd started to trickle in and I was totally prepared to scope it out, as bringing the magazine was a great incognito way to casually stalk people. And sunglasses. Those are always a must have accessory for stalking as well. Hmmm, maybe I do have a fashion magazine article idea here after all...SO, what kind of people showed up for the Friday afternoon cocktail you ask? Well the thing is nothing terribly different from what we have discovered so far. There were the typical older gentlemen, some construction men of the sketchy variety and last but not least, the nerdy trio that was about to sit next to me. Here’s where I came to understand that even seemly geeky guys aren’t that friendly in Vancouver either. What is it about this city? Are we even turning the nerds into pretentious douche bags that think they’re too good to talk to you? And let me assure you, I say geeks and nerds in the most loving way because I can geek out with the best of them. I too used to collect X-Men comics...yah I did.
|Thank you Hugh Jackman|
But let’s back up here so that we can understand where this hostility is coming from. Now I’m from the school of being friendly to people and talking to everyone, because why not? You’ve got nothing to lose, and you never know who you’re going to meet. It could be someone totally awesome that you were missing from your life! This is why I love travelling so much, people usually want to talk to you, albeit mostly because you’re not from their city. So what is the problem with people who actually live in the same city as you? Why don’t we want to talk to them? I just don’t get it. So let’s try and start okay? It’s not like every person that tries to talk to you is hell bent on picking you up, maybe some people are just trying to be social and pass the time. So Vancouver, lighten up! The next time you see someone sitting alone reading Glamour, talk to them. They could be silently taking notes about you to discuss in their blog.
Because that’s what I was doing. The trio seemed nice enough, one of them was kind of cute, I am going to guess that they worked in engineering, and they must have known that I was listening in on their conversation as every once in a while I couldn’t help the huge smile on my face, along with a fit of giggles to go with it. Its funny what people talk about, I know if someone listened into one of our conversations they would be like WTF a hundred times over, because we’re not shy, we’ll discuss matters that shouldn’t be talked about in public places. But what was happening beside me was extremely curious. These fellows debated about the acting careers of John Candy and Rick Moranis for much, much longer than it should have gone on for. I’m not even sure how this became a topic; much less one to be discussed for this long, but my thought was hello? John Candy is the obvious winner here; I mean he was in Home Alone. That trumps Honey I Shrunk the Kids any day. End of story. If someone would have thrown down that gauntlet, the conversation could have ended much earlier. Reflecting on this, I should have just piped up.
***Ed. Note: They were however BOTH in Spaceballs, so may I say possible draw?
***Ed. Note: They were however BOTH in Spaceballs, so may I say possible draw?
They also conversed about the Canucks being ousted by Chicago in the first round of the playoffs, and now I know THAT was probably why I didn’t speak to them. Come on, what kind of Vancouverite can you be if you’re already not supporting your team?! Shameful. And so that continued on, as well as a lengthily discussion about the policing in our city, which is a touchy subject for some people apparently. So yah basically I eavesdropped on their entire conversation. What’s wrong with that? It’s not my fault the patio seats are so close together. And though that may be, it’s actually a pretty great patio, complete with comfy seats and lot’s of sun coverage. That’s important. But the sun was going down and the crisp winter air was back again, so when my sister finally showed up we ventured indoors to see what was happening.
At this point I had been there for an hour and half and not once did I see a waitress hump any of the customers! This was progress for a Donnelly establishment as far as I was concerned. It could have been because the Guy Fieri- esqe bar manager was working, but kudos to him for keeping the humping under control. The waitresses were pretty friendly for the most part, but not too keen what kind of liquor the bar actually offers. When we asked if they had Makers Mark, she immediately said no. And then we pointed to the bar and said but what about that bottle. Yes. Not a huge problem, but some people – aka my brother in law – are particular about what kind of bourbon they want to throw in their mouths. So just something to think about ladies, learn what’s in your bar stock. Plus knowing about bourbon? Total bonus if you’re in the business of picking up dudes. Sounds classy if you know about something other than Jack Daniels. Which isn’t even bourbon, but people always suggest that first for some reason.
We didn’t stay much longer as we were pretty starving at this point, and weren’t really feeling pub food. The menus at all of the Donnelly establishments are the same, so having already checked out Library Square the week before I knew the food would be tasty, but it wasn’t what I was feeling at that exact moment. We weren’t inside for long, but it’s a pretty large room, lot’s booths and tables around the bar area, so it would be an excellent location to catch some playoff games. But don’t come if you’re going to be one of those lame people who are already counting the Canucks out. Keep your bad vibes at home please.
There were actually quite a few men inside, I don’t know how they snuck in past me as I had a pretty good view of the door when I was sitting outside, clearly I must have been too mesmerized by the nerds. I guess I really should get into the Big Bang Theory after all...Again, there were many different varieties of men, specifically a group of guys who looked like they could have possibly been firemen??? So yah, nothing wrong with that! I will be back to investigate this venue further, I’ll be the one actually cheering the Canucks on, and guess what else? I’ll probably talk to you.
GO CANUCKS GO!